Dave, an RVer from Chicago, travels in his motorhome with a talkative but foul-mouthed parrot. One day in a campground near Phoenix, Ariz., the bird's swearing got to be too much. So grabbed it by the throat and yelled "Stop it!" But only minutes later, the bird was swearing again.

The next day, the bird yelled so loudly that the couple next door in a big fifth wheel stopped by to demand its silence. Desperate, Dave locked the bird in a kitchen cabinet. But it didn't help: the bird kept right on swearing. The next day, the bird was even worse. So, as a last resort, Dave tossed it into his spacious freezer. After five minutes, all was quiet. Worried the bird might be freezing, Dave took it out. "I'm sorry," confessed the suddenly polite bird. "I promise to never swear again."

Dave was astonished. He couldn't understand the change in attitude.

"By the way," asked the parrot, "what did the chicken do?"

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A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"

"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."

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The handsome American strode into a department store in Paris, France,
and headed straight for the lingerie counter. He intently studied the
array of lacy underthings and the sales lady bustled over to him.

"Do you have something in mind?" she asked.

"I certainly do, ma'am," the American emphatically replied.
"That's why I want a nice gift."

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A couple of elderly RVers who'd recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary were sitting on the sofa in their Airstream motorhome, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?" He moved over and sat close to her.

"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?" He reached over and held her tight.

"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?" With that, her husband got up and started to walk toward the rear of the motorhome.

"Where are you going?" she asked. "Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth."

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A dog was resting in a campground and an RVer was reading nearby on a lawn chair.

"Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a recently arrived camper asked. The RVer looked up over his newspaper and replied, "Nope."

Yet when the camper approached the animal, it began snarling and growling, and then attacked his legs. After pulling away from the crazed animal, he yelled, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"

The RVer muttered, "Ain't my dog."

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A RVing couple, both born the same year and month, were celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been so loving she would grant them each one wish.

Very excited, the wife said that since she had already visited most of North America in her RV she would like to visit Europe. The fairy waved her magic wand; airline tickets instantly appeared in her hand.

Then it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said with a sly look, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand, and presto, he was 90.

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