Three mean nasty bikers pull into a roadside cafe where there's no one there except a single male customer and a waitress. They decide to have some fun with the customer, so they put on their most trucculent sneers and walk up to his table.

The first one dips his finger into the man's coffee, stirs it a bit and puts the finger in his mouth and pronounces "This is lousy coffee".

The next one picks up the man's soup bowl, sniffs it, spits into it and says, "This is lousy soup".

The last one picks up the man's hamburger, squeezes it to a pulp and announces "This is a lousy hamburger".

The man quietly gets up, politely pays his bill and walks out. The lead biker turns to the waitress and says "That guy ain't much of a man, is he?"

The waitress pauses and deadpans "He ain't much of a driver either ... he just backed over three motorcycles on his way out of here."

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An elderly couple were flying to Las Vegas to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. The wife noticed that her husband was crying and asked why are you crying dear?

The husband asked, "Do you remember the night we were kissing on your parents' front porch?".

"Yes, dear," she replied. "I'll never forget it." Dad came outside and told me to get inside immediately."

"Well, after you went inside, your dad told me that I had three choices about you. He reminded me that he was the judge in town and that he could kill me and get away with it. Or, he said, he could send me to jail for 50 years. He said my third choice was to marry you."

"I see," said his wife. "But why are you crying now?"

The man began to sob. And then, gaining his composure, he said, "I'd be getting out today."

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There was an RVer named Art from Portland, Ore., who stumbled upon a Genie in a bottle who granted him one wish. Art said, "I want to explore the big island of Hawaii in my motorhome, but I can't afford to send it there by ship. So my wish is that you to build a road from the coast of Oregon to Hawaii."

The Genie replied, "I'm sorry, but that is too difficult. The length and the depth of the ocean would make that task impossible, even for a Genie like me. So you must make another wish.

" Art quickly replied, "Okay, I never could understand women. I want to know 'How do they think and what do they really want?'"

The Genie paused for a moment, deep in thought, and then replied, "Do you want that two lanes or four?"

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A police officer in Texas, had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding cars and RVs. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit, and the officer soon learned why: A 10-year old boy was standing up the road a quarter mile with a large hand-painted sign that read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another 10-year old boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign that read "TIPS." At his feet was a bucket-full of change.

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Actual questions asked by park visitors.

At Grand Canyon National Park:
"Was this man-made?"
"Is there an elevator to the bottom?"
"Do you light it up at night?"
"Is the mule train air-conditioned?"
"Where are the faces of the presidents?"

At Carlsbad Caverns National Park:
"How much of the caves is underground?"
"So whats in the unexplored part of the cave?"
"Does it ever rain in here?"
"So what is this, just a hole in the ground?"
"How many ping pong balls would it take to fill it up?"

At Everglades National Park:
"Are the alligators real?"
"Are the baby alligators for sale?"
"When does the two o'clock bus leave?"

At Yosemite National Park:
"What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?"
"What happened to the other half of Half Dome?"

At Alaska's Denali National Park:
"What time do you feed the bears?"
"How often do you mow the tundra?"
"How much does Mount McKinley weigh?"

At Mesa Verde National Park:
"Did people build this, or did Indians?"
"Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?"
"Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?"

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A man driving a motorhome got hopelessly bogged down in an unexpected muddy hole along a dirt road. After a few minutes, a passing farmer drove by on his tractor and offered to pull him out for only $25. After the motorhome was back on dry ground the man said to the farmer, "At those prices, I bet you're pulling vehicles out of this mud day and night."

"Can't," replied the farmer. "At night I haul water for the hole."

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