http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php Copyright 2009, Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com en-US SPHPBLOG 0.4.8 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry090513-015409
Panicked he started to pray, 'God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop being bad!'

Nothing happened, his foot was still stuck. He looked up to see the train getting closer! He prayed again, 'God, please get my foot out and I'll stop swearing AND being bad!'

Still nothing his foot was wedged tight. The train was just seconds away! Little Johnny struggled frantically as the train's horn blared.

He tried his plea one more time, 'God, please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit being bad, I'll stop swearing, AND I'll stop trying to look up little Mary's dress.'

Just as the train was about to hit Johnny, his foot broke free and he fell backwards, the train narrowly missing him. He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said 'Thanks anyway God, I got it myself.']]> General http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry090513-015409 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Wed, 13 May 2009 06:54:09 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=09&m=05&entry=entry090513-015409 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry090513-014752
"Good morning," a young man said. "This is your wake-up call."

Annoyed, he let the motel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6!, what if I had a million-dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?"

"Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million-dollar deal to close, you wouldn't have been staying in this motel, would you?"]]> Hotel http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry090513-014752 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Wed, 13 May 2009 06:47:52 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=09&m=05&entry=entry090513-014752 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry090513-013027
The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."]]> General http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry090513-013027 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Wed, 13 May 2009 06:30:27 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=09&m=05&entry=entry090513-013027 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080524-222136
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got an e:mail from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000...... please advise".

So the old man e:mailed back:...
...Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.
]]> Cruising http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080524-222136 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Sun, 25 May 2008 03:21:36 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080524-222136 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080512-214338
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:

"Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package."
]]> Camping http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080512-214338 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Tue, 13 May 2008 02:43:38 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080512-214338 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080426-204506
2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.

3. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow.

4. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes.

5. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.

6. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.

7. The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you.

8. Your wake up call comes courtesy of a police helicopter]]> Hotel http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080426-204506 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Sun, 27 Apr 2008 01:45:06 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080426-204506 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080405-212912
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new flight attendant was missing.

He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The flight attendant replied, "There are only three doors in here, one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says, 'Do Not Disturb'!" ]]> Airline Travel http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080405-212912 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:29:12 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080405-212912 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080321-201202
2. You can make instant sun tea.

3. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

4. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

5. You discover that in August, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

6. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

7. Hot water now comes out of both taps.

8. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"]]> General http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080321-201202 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Sat, 22 Mar 2008 01:12:02 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=03&entry=entry080321-201202 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080314-021626
She goes in and hands the man her clock.

The man says, "Madam, I don't repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions."

She says, "Why all the clocks in the window?"

And he says, "And what should I have in my window?"]]> General http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080314-021626 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Fri, 14 Mar 2008 07:16:26 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=03&entry=entry080314-021626 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080306-234227
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."]]> Car http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080306-234227 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Fri, 07 Mar 2008 05:42:27 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=03&entry=entry080306-234227 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080303-234953
That evening the younger boy made the suggestion that they take their dad's car, pick up some girls and go to the local disco. The 16 year-old boy could drive a bit but was too scared. After some nagging he gave in and off they went to enjoy the evening.

When they got back to the car after a lot of discothequeing, they noticed a huge dent in the rear of the car - someone must have bumped into the car and drove off. Frantically they phoned their friends to find a panelbeater/spraypainter to fix their dad's car.

Finally they found one who said they must have the car at his house early next morning. The car was fixed properly and they parked it back in the garage that afternoon.

Their parents returned the next day but the boys were too terrified to say anything about the accident. The father went to get something from the garage, came back very amazed and said to the family in the lounge, "A miracle has happened! A guy drove into the back of my car on Thursday and now it is fixed without a scratch!"]]> Car http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080303-234953 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Tue, 04 Mar 2008 05:49:53 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=03&entry=entry080303-234953 http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080228-211023
So, she pulled over and the police car pulled over to the side right behind her car. She drove her car slowly to a stop, slowly rolled down the window, and prepared for a ticket when she knew she didn't deserve it. A policeman walked up to her window, and spoke to her. The lady pointed to her ear and shook her head, meaning she was deaf. The policeman smiled slightly, and knowing sign language, signed back, "I know. I'm here to tell you that your horn is stuck."]]> Car http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/index.php?entry=entry080228-211023 Resources For Attorneys tj@resourcesforattorneys.com Fri, 29 Feb 2008 03:10:23 GMT http://traveljokes.resourcesforattorneys.com/comments.php?y=08&m=02&entry=entry080228-211023